Playing trains (2)

I can remember travelling by train the odd time when I was younger when it would go wrong, and the line would be blocked or something would happen and we'd all get turfed out and told that buses would happen and - guess what - buses would magically appear! I just kind of assumed there was a big bus printing machine somewhere and if buses were needed in a hurry, the handle would be turned and out they would pop!

Fast forward to present day and why is it that I have a mental block about 0208 numbers? When my phone rings at odd times (and it does ring at some very odd times, because we divert the company landline to it out of hours), if I see an 0208 number I think that it will be some polite old chap enquiring about coming down from London for cricket at the Rose Bowl and how can he get from Parkway Station? Any why is there a 90 minute gap going home just as the cricket finishes? (HCC please note! Both HCCs for that matter - the County Council and the Cricket Club who still thing that Red Rocket run the bus to the ground despite us e-mailing them to tell them otherwise!)

One day, I will realise that an 0208 number on my phone means just one thing - South West Trains Wimbledon Emergency Control Centre (I don't know if that's its real name but it'll do for now!)

After a pleasant evening out with friends Sunday evening, I was ready for a relaxed start to Bank Holiday Monday. Sure it was raining, sure I had to go into Eastleigh to see Ant off on the service 8 duty, but once he was gone I could sneak off for a much needed coffee and breakfast and plan the rest of the day from there.

It's 0810 and I'm just leaving the flat. My phone goes and it's the 0208 number!!! Bit early for a cricket enquiry methinks! As soon as I press the green button I can hear the hubbub in the background and my brain suddenly realises it's SWT Control before the lady can even say the words! Southampton Central station is flooded. They need buses! I need thinking time. I'll ring them back.

First need is to count to 30 to avoid the easy temptation to say "sorry, can't help", and enjoy the leisurely Bank Holiday upon which my heart was set.

Second need is to think about what I can actually do for them. Obviously there's me. First to call would normally be Taz, but his parents in law are staying so that's probably a non-starter. Next nearest is Jamie. He was out with me and friends last night but seemed to be ok and didn't get too drunk so could be a possibility. Take a deep breath and dial the number, and he sounds pretty awake and he's up for it. So that's one double decker each then - single deckers are better if we have to go through the New Forest, but SWT are going to need seats this morning I suspect. Ring them back - "two double deckers?" - turns out I'm a diamond!

On the way in to Eastleigh, think I'd better ring Taz and check there were no problems on Sunday (he was on call, I was having a rare day off) that might affect my vehicle options this morning. He's in bed. Nicki, his wife, wakes him and he rings me back. We run through yesterday's highlights and I tell him Jamie and I are going out on emergency for SWT and leave it at that.

As I arrive at the yard no more than 10 minutes later, who's walking in but Taz! In full uniform! Puts me to shame! He tells me he's not missing out on some train action, regardless of in-laws staying! I ring SWT back, offer them a single decker in addition to the doubles and they say no thanks, they've got enough!!! I tell Taz this, but tell him not to go anywhere because I suspect that's not the end of the story. Sure enough, five minutes later, is the offer of the single decker still available? Can we go to Eastleigh station - they want one of us on Eastleigh - Bournemouth directs and two doing Eastleigh - Southampton shuttles. Jamie can go to the seaside in 303 I decide.

Can't remember when 303 and 309 were last fuelled, and in fact 309 hasn't turned a wheel for a week or more, so I take 309 and Jamie and I stop off at the petrol station. While we are there, Taz roars past us in V7, which means that the last person to know about the job is first on the scene at Eastleigh station!

In fact, from an initial call by SWT at 0810 on a Bank Holiday morning, I'm pretty impressed that we've got three buses at Eastleigh station by 0900!

Taz loads up for Southampton and he's gone straight away. Jamie is no more than a minute or two behind with a load for Bournemouth. Within ten minutes I'm on my way to Southampton too. Southampton Road in Eastleigh is horribly flooded over a short section. There's a car stranded in the middle, marooned, helpless! The traffic is getting round it ok, but you have to pity the poor driver. Later turns out that he was the car directly in front of Taz, and Taz says he was going way too fast for the conditions and got caught out so he has no-one else to blame!

I go to Southampton, weighing up the dilemma of which side of Southampton station to head for. Rail replacement action is normally on the south side (platform 4) but there's not much room there and I know they've done big rail jobs on the north side before. From a distance, I can see a police car at the top of the hill leading down to the platform 4 side, so I guess the road's closed and head for the north side - I've guessed right.

Back to Eastleigh, then back to Southampton again. A good few Brijan vehicles around but not much else yet. Arriving in Southampton the second time, I catch up with Taz so he loads up for a service to Eastleigh and I'm sent empty to St Denys where there are loads of people waiting to come into town apparently.

They are supposed to wait at the junction between Belmont Road and the road that leads down to the station itself, because you can't get a bus down that road really. So where are they waiting? At the station entrance of course. So 309 goes to places a double decker may never have been before. I trust that I will find somewhere to turn round, and luckily I do.

Back into Southampton, where traffic is now getting very heavy indeed because Millbrook Road - the main road out to the west - is apparently also closed for flooding so everything to and from the west is being funnelled through the choked artery of Shirley High Street. Or so Ant tells me - his 0944 from Hythe should be in Soton by 1038 but he's adrift in traffic.

I unload and, thinking myself to be an Eastleigh shuttle, start shouting for stations to Eastleigh. A train person sidles up. Is there * any chance * (going into severe grovel mode now) I could go to Bournemouth. They are inundated with Bournemouth people and haven't had any coaches for ages. I must admit I'm not overjoyed. I never managed that coffee break and certainly had no food so I'm feeling a bit sluggish, and a gentle plod to and from Eastleigh quite suited my mood, but life is never perfect so it's a deep breath and of course I'll go to Bournemouth.

From leaving Central, going up Shirley High Street because I'd love to think of something better but just can't for the moment, it takes 45 minutes to reach the M27 - passing Ant on the inbound 8 approaching an hour late in Shirley. A lady says "are you going to Brockenhurst?". I'm not, because the station staff needed me to go non-stop and have told Brockenhurst people to get a train back from Bournemouth. Five minutes later she's back... "If you're not going to Brockenhurst station, are you going through the town of Brockenhurst". Of course I resist the obvious retort that if I was going anywhere near the town I'd be going to the station, and instead offer a second apology and a just slightly firmer statement that I'm afraid I'm not.

309's demisters are not up to the task of overcoming 70-odd wet people inside the bus and driving rain outside and they are not really demisting anything. Luckily, in a flash of inspiration before leaving the yard, I picked up the blue roll. For those that don't know, blue roll is basically blue tissue paper, thicker than your domestic stuff but equally absorbent. Blue roll is the lifeblood of the bus industry. Without blue roll, the industry would be in its death throes. It's more important than oxygen it seems, and I've got our supply. So I'm driving down the motorway with a handful of blue roll at the ready for occasional wipes to keep the windscreen clear.

Mrs Brockenhurst comes forward again, "would you like me to wipe the windows for you driver?". Ok, nice offer, but NOOOO. I'm ok thanks, honest. I'm living in a small little world of my own, just me and my blue roll and that pane of glass in front of me that will eventually guide me to the coast. I've shut out of my mind the audience of 70 wet people - it's just between me, the rain and the traffic now! I see 303 going the other way, big wave from Jamie so he's ok. I'm also aware of continual traffic jams the other way - that'll be me in an hour.

Somewhere near Ringwood, the sun comes out. As it brightens up outside and the rain stops, the windows clear, my mood lifts and it's suddenly the greatest pleasure to be crusing down the dual carriageway in my beautiful bus, totally unruffled despite its 19 years.

5 minutes from Bournemouth Station, here comes Mrs Brockenhurst again... "Is this all the heat you've got driver, or do you have any more to give us". All the heaters are on full pelt - the bus is roasting. "No sorry madam, you've got everything I have, but we'll be there in five minutes". She returns to her seat and I can see the theatrical shivering in my mirror - luckily the sentiment doesn't appear to be shared by anyone else.

I arrive in Bournemouth and it's a lovely sunny day! Pull up alongside the big queue of people. The station staff ask me if I can do non-stop to Eastleigh! Joy!!! Load up and away we go. As we cruise north in glorious sunshine, I celebrate in the certain knowledge that I will be dropping off in Eastleigh, the trains will be running again, we'll be stood down and all I have to do is take my bus round the corner and park u and I can finally go for my coffee! The traffic jams don't hold us up too much either - it's all good now!

Arrive at Eastleigh and three things are immediately apparent...

1) There are millions of buses - especially Stagecoach ones and indeed it appears that Stagecoach bus people are in control now (must be an afternoon thing?)
2) There are millions of people
3) There are no trains

Jamie and Taz are both there. Jamie is just leaving for another Bournemouth and Taz is nearly loaded for Southampton. Apparently I'm to be next. The 0208 number again - can I confirm my buses are still all on the job. Yes, in fact I can see them all! Apparently some buses have been sneaking off. Can't move for the damn things here!!! Take the opportunity to ask whether they have an estimate for when trains will be running again. They estimate the line reopening at 1700 hrs - that's nearly three hours away!

Loaded once more, within 20 minutes or so of my arrival I'm on my way to Southampton again. I'm sorry to say that the next two hours are a drag. I'm bored out of my brain, and all I can do is keep thinking of the money! Back to Eastleigh, then back to Southampton a second time. At Parkway station they have glued pictures of the flooding at Central Station on the front door. This is probably a wise move, I can guarantee there will be people who refuse to believe that there was ever any flooding and just think that it is a cunning ploy by SWT to ruin their day!

As we roll down the hill to Central, we see a train leave heading towards Portsmouth! A real, actual train, running on the real actual railway! In the station we are told that trains are running again to Portsmouth and Cardiff. Two people ask me for Bristol. I tell them there are trains. They say the station staff have told them there aren't. Bristol is on the way to Cardiff. I'm losing the will to live, but after suggesting they go back and talk to the station staff again they don't reappear so perhaps their luck is in. So's mine, we're off back to Eastleigh now for what must be the last time!

At Parkway station, two mouthy teenage girls get off and harangue the station staff. They need to get to Portsmouth. The station guy tells them the best bet is to stay on the bus to Eastleigh and get a train from there, or they could get another bus back to Southampton now that there are trains running from there. On hearing this latter news, the two girls stomp back on to my bus and one of them bends down and shouts in my face, "the station guard says there are trains running from Southampton now, so you've brought us here for NO REASON!!!" I remember them getting on but they never told me where they were going. This doesn't improve my mood, but I'm friendly and polite as always and they calm down and sit back down on the bus.

Back in Eastleigh it's a mess. There are trains, but no-one knows quite when. So they seem to be despatching buses at random intervals, with the odd train in between. One minute we are being told we will be kept on standby for 30 minutes, then an hour, then two hours. Then a train leaves for Poole (via Southampton) and this is treated almost as if it were a miracle by the rail staff. They still won't release the buses though. I wander off to refuel - there's nowhere near enough space to park, and then decide that it's now 1830 hrs, I'm supposed to be playing football at 1910 hrs, there are seven buses in the railway station and another five or so parked down various side streets. The trains are running again. They can surely do without us now. Not that I mind the money you understand, it's just that we were first on the job at 0900 hrs and we're flagging. They ask Taz to stay until 2000 hrs, he agrees, but he hasn't seen his in-laws all day so Jamie very kindly steps in to take his place.

Did I enjoy it? Mostly yes, but it just went on too long. A bit like this post perhaps! But next time you get turfed off a train and a magical bus appears from the bus printing machine, you may now know a little more about how it all happens!